Orchids Not Daisies

I was thinking of flowers today. Orchids in particular. These beautiful flowers take work to grow. It’s not that caring for orchids is difficult it’s particular.

Orchids need specific things in order to thrive. They need the right humidity. The right amount of water. The right percentage of sunlight and time. It takes time to find the right balance of these things. Your vision, purpose, business, even your children are the same way.

You have to take time to tweak your environment and set the atmosphere of your optimal growth. Be gentle with yourself during this process the atmosphere to produce for yourself often differs from the atmosphere you are in to produce for someone else. If you spend all your time and energy in an environment that was created by someone else in order to produce the thing that they are looking for, then taking out time and energy for you to set the atmosphere in order to produce the thing that you are looking for is going to a process.

You have to find the proper nourishment. Feed yourself encouragement. Guard what you are listening to. Be protective over what is spoken over you. Take in only that which causes you growth. Shy away from comfort, that keeps you complacent. This is how you grow you discipline yourself, by doing what is nessecary over what is convenient.

You have to give yourself sun. Get out into nature. Be inspired by the beauty around you and take a break from time to time. After all you are growing orchids not daisies.

**The beautiful arrangement above is made by Flowers by Pricilla**

Reciprocity

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We have all been in a situation where we feel like we are giving all we have to others only to find ourselves without support from those same people. The frustration of feeling undervalued, used and unprotected turns into bitter resentment as we lick our wounds from the trials of life alone. An illusion is incorrectly perceiving our surroundings through our senses.

This is a trap. I used to believe reciprocity was my due. I would mentally keep score of what I gave out and received in return. Until I realized that reciprocity is not dependent on one source. I get what I put out. There is a return on my spiritual, emotional, financial and physical investments. If I haven’t yet seen them they are on their way.

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When I grasped the concept that generosity tied to reciprocity is good soil for joy. I started to see it everywhere. I would do something for someone with no expectation and see a similar gesture done for me. I would go out of my way to bless others only to be called for a speaking engagement or training due to a referral. Every interaction is a gift one I am either giving or receiving and I am grateful.

I know this sounds extremely optimistic but I challenge you to try it for a week.  Make generosity a principal in your life then sit back and experience real joy. Leave your plan and/or the results in comments below.

 

We Are Moving!

Well the cat’s out the bag! K got a promotion and we are moving to beautiful San Diego. This means two things for you

1. Our in-person class on Living Your Purpose Today will be postponed.

2. The class will now be offered as a webinar series! Be sure to subscribe here at at leeanahjames.com for the latest details.

**If you registered for the class your refund has been issued.**

We are so excited to move and will be documenting our move and sharing it with you on our podcast. We are also collecting footage for our YouTube channel which we are hoping to relaunch in a few months.

This is such a busy, big, exciting adventure we are embarking on. We cannot wait to share it with you. If you think of us, pray for us!

Reposted from melanintaught.com

5 Ways to Be An Emotionally Intelligent Parent

Have you heard of Emotional Intelligence? It’s a buzzword that has been going around the past few years. Heres the scoop. It basically means the ability to control one’s emotions and even the emotions of others. So the higher your Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ) the better you are at keeping a grip on life. Pretty cool right!

So here are some tips on how to use Emotional Intelligence to thrive as a parent.

  1. Be Aware: Wake up, feed kids, brush teeth, clean, school time, snack time, clean, homework, dinner, clean….repeat. If you are like me throw in some breastfeeding sessions, diaper changes, errands, phone calls and meds (for grandma). Wait! What about “me time”? Sometimes we can get so into the routine of the daily grind that we forget to check in with ourselves. It is so important to take out at least a few minutes alone to see how we are feeling and most importantly why?
  2. Be Real: When you don’t know how you feel its easy to speak with more or less force than may be required when communicating with your kids. Good news is you can always stop and ask yourself, “Is your response really the best response”? If not simply apologize. Our kids are learning how to adult by what they see us do more than what they hear us say. So take time to slow down and self-correct.
  3. Be Honest: Why do you feel the way you do? Is your child really doing something harmful or are they simply being a child? Are you frustrated, tired, or overworked? Ha! That last one is not a real question. Of course, you are! This means you may be acting out of your feelings rather than your child’s actions. I once heard it said that kids get in more trouble at the end of the day not because the kids are worse but because the parents are tired. Try to make it a habit to give more grace as the day goes on.
  4. Be A Kid: Take out some time to play. Seriously! Taking time to play with kids makes it easier to think like one. When you try to see the world through a child’s eyes you open up the door for grace. One of my favorite things to do is to have my kids take pictures with my camera. As I scroll through I am able to see things from their perspective and it really helps me appreciate their worldview. In fact, all but the first and last picture in this post were pictures taken by my kids. Even AR (18 mos) got in on the fun.
  5. Be Realistic: There is no such thing as a perfect kid, and there is no such thing as a perfect parent. However, in order for you to have the best relationship with your child you need to be able to look inside yourself and understand your behavior so you can better shape the behavior of your child.

I hope this helps! Click here to find out How To Teach Your Kids Emotional Intelligence. You can also pick up a copy of my book How to Lead With Emotional Intelligence for practical ways to apply EI to your daily life.

You can find the original post on my homeschool site melanintaught.com

How to Teach Your Kids Emotional Intelligence

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Kids feel so much and have such a limited vocabulary. Teaching children Emotional Intelligence techniques allows them to better handle stress while helping you as a parent stress less. It may seem like a big task but once broken down it’s really easy. Make these tasks habits and you will see a big change in the way your child communicates with you.

1. Quiet time – Some days my kids are extra whiny. This is so annoying to me, they get whiny I get frustrated, they whine, I’m irritated it is a vicious cycle, and next thing you know we all need a time out. Taking time out in the morning for no reason at all works wonders. I have my kids pick a square and for 3 to 5 minutes we all sit and are still. Teaching children to pause is a very important thing in a society that values speed over quality.

2. How do you feel? This may be simple but many parents, especially of young children, don’t ask their kids how they feel. These conversations equip children with the proper vocabulary to express their feelings. For example, one can be frustrated but not angry, to children those lines may blur. Having these conversations also fosters empathy.

“Mommy, are you mad?”

“No, I am frustrated.”

“Can I help?”

“Yes, can you hand me that.”

Our vocabulary may determine if or even how our feelings have or can be changed.

3. Share how you feel. Simply sharing how you feel teaches your children how to share what they are feeling. “I feel ….. when…”

Equipping children with tools for effective communication makes them more confident and allows you to teach them how to appropriately manage their emotions.

If you enjoyed this check out How to be an Emotionally Intelligent Parent. Also, be sure to pick up a copy of my book How to Lead With Emotional Intelligence for practical application of EI in your daily life.

Find original post on my homeschool site melanintaught.com