Self-Awareness Starts in The Mind

Have you heard the quote from Henry Ford “Wither you think you can or you can’t your right”? The power behind the quote lies in the notion that your thoughts determine your trajectory. Our emotions have the ability and tendency to highjack our thoughts. Let me prove it. Think about a day where you woke up and everything was going according to plan. What were you thinking about? Your plans for the day, the evening? Maybe you were listening to music or planning a vacation in your head. Now think about that moment being snatched away. Maybe someone cut you off in traffic or was short with you in a check out line. Maybe you experienced a loss. Whatever the case your positive thought was interrupted by emotion and your emotion began to drive your thought.

What if you could take back the steering wheel in your mind and go back to your positive thoughts. Positive thoughts are not just a way of saying, “thinking something nice” when I use the term positive thought I am referring to forward thinking thoughts. Thoughts that push you towards your end goals. Innovative, creative, solution creating operating in the positive rather than the negative kinds of thoughts. These thoughts are the first steps to true change.

So how do you take back the power of thought the driver of action through the implementation of self-awareness? By using the four questions.

The first question is How do I feel? It is easy to get so busy with our lives that we forget to take notice when something occurs that changes our state of being. It is not often that the average person takes the time out to stop and analyze their feelings before moving from one state of being to another. For example, when is the last time something upset you and you made a conscious analysis that going from one state of being such as calm to another such as energetic was the best thing for you or the situation at hand. This first question is important because it causes you to take notice to and acknowledge the shift.

This next question is When did I start to feel this way? The closer you can get to identifying when your shift in emotion happened the easier it will be to identify your true feelings later on. Here is the thing everyone has triggers, but not everyone knows what their triggers are. Knowing when your emotions shifted allows you to identify your triggers and stop them from derailing your day. Think back to when your emotion changed. Were you speaking with someone? Watching or reading something? Did you lose or miss out on a sale or deal? When did the shift occur?

The third question helps you get to the nitty-gritty of why your triggers are in fact YOUR triggers. Why do I feel this way? When the event occurred why did it elicit the response from you that it did? Are you feeling like you need to protect your heart? Defend your position? If so, why? Understanding the answers to these questions helps you limit the amount of time and power your emotions have over your thoughts. After much practice, you will be able to sit back and say, “Oh I felt this way because…” and move back to your positive thoughts.

The last question may seem like the first but your answer may be completely different. By this point, you’ve identified when and why you feel the way you do meaning you are equipped to address the root feeling. It is at this point you want to ask yourself, “How do I feel?” Now that you’ve properly identified your emotions you can choose whether to hold on to the feeling associated with the experience or let it go. We can’t always control how we initially feel but I believe we can control whether or not we give those feelings control over the rest of our day, year, or life.

To learn how to take your newly identified emotions and use them as fuel for your purpose, join my Live Emotional Intelligence Masterclass.

Four Life-Changing Questions

We all have days where we’re in a bad mood and just can’t shake the frustration, anxiety, or disappointment and yet we don’t know what’s causing it. These four questions can help you take control of your emotions, re-focus on the task ahead and take charge of your day.

1. How do I feel?

It’s so important to acknowledge one’s feelings. Even if you don’t know exactly how you’re feeling and acknowledging that you do in fact have feelings that differ from your norm is a very important first step to taking charge of your emotions. Take a minute to close your eyes and try to name your feeling. It may even help to jot it down or talk through it with a friend.

2. When did I start to feel this way?

Everyone has triggers, but not everyone knows what their triggers are. this is how you identify your triggers and stop them from derailing your day. Think back to when your emotion changed. Were you speaking with someone? Watching or reading something? Did you lose or miss out on a sale or deal? When did the shift occur?

3. Why do I feel this way?

When the event occurred why did it elicit the response from you that it did? Are you feeling like you need to protect your heart? Defend your position? If so, why?

4. How do I feel?

Now that you know when and why you feel the way you do. You can express that emotion to yourself or others as necessary. Try this framework, I feel… when…. because….

Now that you’ve properly identified your emotions you can choose whether to hold on to the feeling associated with the experience or let it go. We can’t always control how we initially feel but I believe we can control whether or not we give those feelings control over the rest of our day, year, or life.

Click here to take the Emotional Intelligence Masterclass at a discounted rate. 

LeeAnah James is not a licensed therapist. This technique is not intended to cure or remedy any mental health issues. 

Orchids Not Daisies

I was thinking of flowers today. Orchids in particular. These beautiful flowers take work to grow. It’s not that caring for orchids is difficult it’s particular.

Orchids need specific things in order to thrive. They need the right humidity. The right amount of water. The right percentage of sunlight and time. It takes time to find the right balance of these things. Your vision, purpose, business, even your children are the same way.

You have to take time to tweak your environment and set the atmosphere of your optimal growth. Be gentle with yourself during this process the atmosphere to produce for yourself often differs from the atmosphere you are in to produce for someone else. If you spend all your time and energy in an environment that was created by someone else in order to produce the thing that they are looking for, then taking out time and energy for you to set the atmosphere in order to produce the thing that you are looking for is going to a process.

You have to find the proper nourishment. Feed yourself encouragement. Guard what you are listening to. Be protective over what is spoken over you. Take in only that which causes you growth. Shy away from comfort, that keeps you complacent. This is how you grow you discipline yourself, by doing what is nessecary over what is convenient.

You have to give yourself sun. Get out into nature. Be inspired by the beauty around you and take a break from time to time. After all you are growing orchids not daisies.

**The beautiful arrangement above is made by Flowers by Pricilla**

Reciprocity

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We have all been in a situation where we feel like we are giving all we have to others only to find ourselves without support from those same people. The frustration of feeling undervalued, used and unprotected turns into bitter resentment as we lick our wounds from the trials of life alone. An illusion is incorrectly perceiving our surroundings through our senses.

This is a trap. I used to believe reciprocity was my due. I would mentally keep score of what I gave out and received in return. Until I realized that reciprocity is not dependent on one source. I get what I put out. There is a return on my spiritual, emotional, financial and physical investments. If I haven’t yet seen them they are on their way.

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When I grasped the concept that generosity tied to reciprocity is good soil for joy. I started to see it everywhere. I would do something for someone with no expectation and see a similar gesture done for me. I would go out of my way to bless others only to be called for a speaking engagement or training due to a referral. Every interaction is a gift one I am either giving or receiving and I am grateful.

I know this sounds extremely optimistic but I challenge you to try it for a week.  Make generosity a principal in your life then sit back and experience real joy. Leave your plan and/or the results in comments below.

 

We Are Moving!

Well the cat’s out the bag! K got a promotion and we are moving to beautiful San Diego. This means two things for you

1. Our in-person class on Living Your Purpose Today will be postponed.

2. The class will now be offered as a webinar series! Be sure to subscribe here at at leeanahjames.com for the latest details.

**If you registered for the class your refund has been issued.**

We are so excited to move and will be documenting our move and sharing it with you on our podcast. We are also collecting footage for our YouTube channel which we are hoping to relaunch in a few months.

This is such a busy, big, exciting adventure we are embarking on. We cannot wait to share it with you. If you think of us, pray for us!

Reposted from melanintaught.com